Better off than my parents?

A TV documentary that I watched earlier this week had, as its main message, that all over the world, people in supposed first world countries were no longer better off than their parents, and that they had nothing left to aim for. 

In Vietnam, youngsters enjoy parties and study as they celebrate the life improvements each generation can make on their parents - they can get better jobs, have more money, enjoy city living and be proud of their achievements.

In other countries, however, like Japan and the UK, children are less happy as they know that however hard they work they will not be able to outshine their parents, unlike the last few generations. They will struggle to get a job, may not get on the property ladder for some time (if ever), and have less disposable money with which to enjoy themselves. And I started thinking 'am I better off than my parents'?

I live in the UK, have a house that needs a lot of renovation (much of which I can't afford at this present time), have a car that amazes my family every time I drive to see them in it (as they're convinced it was ready for the scrapyard years ago), can never afford to stay in a hotel, and buy mainly value lines in the supermarket.

Yet I am fully aware of how much better off I am than my parents as they taught me well. I know which of the budget lines taste good, and which to avoid. I'm a keen freebie hunter, and when the season's right, can practically live off thin air. I have friends all over the world, who I can couch-surf at, when I get enough cash together to pay for the air fare. 

My entertainment costs are practically zero as I've been trained to see the value in volunteering. Though my husband certainly only earns a one-person salary, we can live quite comfortably when I'm between jobs, and then when I start earning more, we can use almost all of our money to go on holiday to see my friends.

I don't have to work if I don't want to, rather, using that extra time to help those in genuine need - socially, physically or mentally. I have gained from IT developments as I can chat with friends around the world everyday, and don't have to miss out on friendship just because I can't afford the long-haul flights as often as I would like.

I may not have more disposable income than my parents did, but I know how to use it more wisely as I have learnt from their experience. I can use money much more creatively to stretch it as far as possible in a country which is becoming increasingly tight-fisted. I enjoy every day, even the rainy ones, as I know the peace instilled in me from having thoughtful, loving parents, who have never stopped showering me with their wisdom in a useful way.

In short, I am much better off than my parents were, as they sculpted a better life for me when I was still young.

Day 4 = A, B, C!

One of the methods suggested by several sources as being helpful and good for studying scripture is to learn it, commit it to memory and carry it all the day through internally. I have difficulties with short-term memory, and I find memorisation really quite difficult, so I thought I'd look around for tips on remembering scripture, and came across the following quote: "I know an easy way to memorise scripture - through the alphabet!". This particular comment precedes an internationally-known children's song, performed and written by Ernie Rettino (a.k.a. Psalty). 

Thus, in my prayer and study time today, I listened to, and sang along with (www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn3C2H8bgYQ) 'The Alphabet Song'. I had to listen to it a number of times, as each time, I learnt something different, and it required a great amount of concentration to succeed in being able to get the whole song internalised, which, was rather disconcerting to my passengers! (My main CD player is in my car as that enables me to be able to sing along with music without being a nuisance to my housemates).

It's a good song, and useful to teach younger Christians. It contains a mix of scriptures, which together, do a decent job at summarising the overall message of the Bible, and each is succeeded by its reference. It's catchy. upbeat, melodious and fast-paced, and is a song that can be listened to, in certain contexts and times, repeatedly. I find it difficult to hear in places as the singers stumble over, and muffle, their words somewhat, but if the aim is to learn some scripture from different parts of the Bible, it's pretty effective.

I think it might be useful to learn several chunks of scripture (i.e. lots of different chapters) rather than having a number of random verses in my head, as this facilitates access to context and background as well as making it easier to remember the references, but it's a helpful start. Learning scripture is important as it's not always easy to locate meaningful verses, find the accompanying reference to an arising thought and the Bible is not always at hand, but with the age of the internet, the need becomes less prevalent in today's society. It's not as essential in the western world as it is in less developed or more politically hot countries.

Day 3 = BSL

Nice and simple entry for today. As a keen BSL learner, I am always looking to expand my knowledge, enrich my vocabulary and practise my language use through prayer (of one form or another). I sign a lot in my work, and find it a very beneficial medium in which to start to contemplate, and grasp, difficult concepts. 

As a creative person, and fond of using my hands a lot, I thought BSL would be a fantastic medium in which to pray today. So I chose one of my favourite scriptures (Isaiah 40:31), matched it with a beautiful song (On Eagle's Wings) and spent my 30 minutes this afternoon learning to sign the song, whilst focussing on the comparisons between the song and scripture, and applying the signs from the song to similar signs for the scripture. 

I am a slow learner, so it took me most of the time today to commit the song to memory, yet as I was working through it, I adapted some of the signs for ones that meant more to me and which I felt were more appropriate to the context. The demonstration sign for Satan, for example, was 'eagle', and the song included the words that God would raise us over the difficult situations in our life by carrying us on eagles' wings - not such a great image and not really fitting to the context, so I changed the sign for Satan to the one for devil.

I found this time of 'study' more memorable and absorbing. I could still remember the signs a week later, which is extremely unusual for me. I often get bored when sitting still and find it difficult to concentrate on scripture for such a prolonged period of time, but I had an hour today, and would have kept going if I hadn't had a meeting I needed to attend.

I will use BSL in the future, and am looking to attend signed services if I can, to continue to develop and widen my knowledge and use of BSL in scripture and ecclesiology.

Day 2 = A Suggestopedic Study

A few years back, I spent a while preparing lessons using the Suggestopedia method (www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX4JFEUgqlg), a method of language teaching, which focuses on increasing students' long-term memory and speed of acquisition by using subliminal messaging and semi-consciousness in the classroom. 

A typical lesson takes between one and four hours and comprises a few instances of the target language embedded in a sample text, which takes approximately one minute to read aloud at a conversational pace. The students are relaxed at the class' onset then the text is read aloud by the teacher once at a normal pace, then a second time quite slowly with emphasis on the important words (whatever they may be, as decided by the teacher). The text is then repeated a third time as it is sung loudly and dramatically, set to a Baroque piece of music. 

After this, the target language is isolated and practised through games where the answers are obvious and can be worked out logically (without any knowledge of the language). The class concludes with all students singing the same sample text together, and a final subduing of the active mind, using any method of relaxation preferred by the teacher and students. It's all quite fascinating really, and very different to a typical lesson.

I didn't want to give myself a lesson based on a biblical passage, but I was interested in using the initial methods of textual reading with a chapter, and seeing the influence and effect on reading in this way. I'm quite keen on the suggestopedia method generally, and find it a useful way to commence a series of complicated language lessons and ignite students' passion in the topic. As I was uncertain and hesitant about beginning my Eastertide studies, I thought this would be invaluable at this time.

I found a text, which I felt suited my mood at this time (1 Corinthians 2) and read through it at my usual reading pace. I then read it more quickly focussing on the words which I found most noticeable the first time I read through it. I emphasised these words by reading them more slowly and loudly, and 'chewing' over them in my mind. I then found a piece of music which seemed to match my mood and the content of the passage: Sempre Una Canzone (www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdEH5SYIG38), and sang it through a few times. The first time, I sang it through dramatically, the second more slowly, concentrating on the overall message that appeared to me, and the third time in time and tempo to the music. I concluded by reading through the text a last time at my usual reading speed.

I found this method interesting and exciting. I'm not sure I'll remember much about the passage itself when I look at it again, but I feel more peaceful, affirmed and aware of the purposes of my adventure through the texts. I also feel empowered and thrilled at the prospect of the next forty days. My conclusions with today's method are similar to my overall impressions of suggestopedia, in that the technique has a lot more to do with affective learning rather than effective learning, and its lasting impression on the emotions and attitudes of the students/ reader are much more significant than any deeper change in memory retention of the passage or biblical revelations.

Above all, I think it's a fun method that everyone should try (maybe in the comforts of an empty house) to rekindle a passion for the scriptures. Just don't expect too much greatness from it.

Day 1 = The Sermon on the Mount

Having completed my prayer challenge on Easter Sunday, I started my Bible study adventure on Easter Monday - with a gap of 6 weeks as I transferred from the Protestant calendar to the Orthodox one. After an intensive spiritual journey, I needed the time and space to regenerate, recharge and refresh my mind by using tried and tested techniques for a while without the pressure to wax eloquent about my quiet time with all and sundry! So I started today.

With a simple and quite passive style of listening to a sermon, delivered by one of my favourite preachers, John Valentine (tinyurl.com/Johns-Video-Blog). To get into the mood of Easter, particularly since the local Orthodox church Paschal services were all Greek to me (both literally and figuratively), I listened to John's Easter Sunday message, which focussed on Colossians 2:6. It's been a while since I last heard an in-depth study of one verse; as a member of an AngloCatholic these days, we tend to have a short illustration of three or four chapters of the Bible (an Old Testament, a Psalm and a Gospel - and occasionally, a New Testament). 

It was refreshing to be able to follow the train of thought of the speaker, have the opportunity to follow the red herrings cognitively and consider the additional scope of the overall message from my own perspective during the sermon. It is all too rare that we get the chance to discuss the most salient aspects of a message with the preacher or other members of the congregation in today's society. I realise that I've missed easily accessible, conversational yet occasionally deep discussions of the Bible, but I valued again the brilliance of my current priest who never fails to captivate me with one of his stories or explanations and the wealth of scripture I get presented with in the masses I attend at my current church.

As a result of my Bible study time today, I will find the opportunity to download more of John's sermons, and attempt to get involved with a Bible study group that is at the most suitable faith level and in a setting in which I feel comfortable, perhaps even at my local church. Wonder what my current priest would think of one of John's sermons...

Btw, today's title is named in honour of the mountains I was driving over as I listened to the streamed talk.

40 days of Eastertide = 40 forms of Bible study

And once again, I find myself back on the bandwagon of Salesian spirituality exploration, looking at different ways to study the Bible, and trying a few of them out. I feel this will be a more difficult task than my prayer journey, as a quick poll on the internet reveals between 5 and 25 ways to study the Bible, I have challenged myself to double that, at 40 - and if I get enough inspiration, may extend it to Orthodox Pentecost (50 days), but don't watch this space. 

I feel also that I will find this more arduous than trialling prayer techniques as I have issues with reading, what, I'm not exactly sure, I've been told by a few that I may have something similar to very mild dyslexia, as I have dyspraxia, and the two conditions often co-occur, to a greater or lesser extent. Therefore I don't enjoy reading all that much, and unfortunately, this also extends to reading the Bible, despite it being such a vast and wide-ranging treat of literary pieces. Though nowadays, there are many ways round sitting in a hard-backed chair with a fat book filled with tiny print, and I feel confident, that I will be able to study the Bible for 30 minutes each day over Eastertide, and that a fraction of that time will involve silent reading.

The Bible is a fascinating collection of stories, history, poetry, law and other miscellaneous genres. It is life-giving. It is exciting and action-packed. It is a thrill to delve into. It is a friend that accompanies many on their journey through life, sustaining the majority whilst teaching, challenging and guiding. I used to read the Bible for hours when I was younger, including one memorable evening where I read the book of Job cover-to-cover whilst waiting for my dinner as a tyke. And I feel emboldened and apprehensive, eager and at peace about becoming reacquainted with it in a little more depth over the coming days.

Not sure how much I will learn about myself, the Bible, different traditions of spirituality and scriptural study, but I will post my findings here if you care to venture with me a little. I hope my path encourages some of my readers to begin a similar quest, and I look forward to hearing any comments! Nothing more remains to be said apart from 'bon voyage!' to myself and my friends.

Prayer: A Wrap-Up (for now)

During lent, I undertook an adventure of '40 ways to pray'. In actuality, as I included Sundays, it became almost 50, and as I reached the end of the time, I was aware of how many more styles there were that I hadn't tried, and how uplifting and fulfilling I found my challenge. So much so, that I was encouraged to try a similar path, looking at 40 ways to read the Bible from (Orthodox) Easter to Assumption.

Recently, I spent a day examining Myers-Briggs personality types (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator), finding out more about my preferred style, and how that relates to the type of prayer which works best for me. I wasn't all that surprised to hear that those with ENFJ tendencies (www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html), like myself,  find Salesian spirituality practices most effective (www.sfdsassociation.org/spirituality/5934-what-is-salesian-spirituality.html). In other words, enjoy the freedom of being able to pray in different ways, depending on the mood, context and situation, and are encouraged to spend at least an hour a day in prayer (if possible).

Seems I know myself quite well! I would't advocate spending huge amounts of time in prayer (there's not that much time in a busy life), but I would praise the outcomes of doing a Myer-Briggs test and researching the most popular prayer style chosen by each preferred trait. There is comfort and peace found in following a routine that works best for everyone, not following the general consensus or necessarily sticking with a technique taught at an early age. With 16 characteristics, and hundreds of ways to pray, the possibilities are endless.

Psalm 145: 18 (NIV)

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth".

Day 47 = Singing in the Streets

"Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!"

As my final prayer method for this year, I joined in the happy throngs singing in the streets. This is a much more Christian country than I expected. There were several groups regaling the passing public with their jubilant glee and thanksgiving. It didn't matter that I didn't know the words, language or church backgrounds, I could join in with the phrases that are practically universal across linguistic groups globally. I could share the smiles, joy and excitement of the singers and those members of the public who were excitedly creating their own jigs to visually accompany the beautiful lyrics.

It was a different experience from the chorale day I'd participated in, and used as a basis for my prayer, some days ago. This was more random, uncontained and stirring. I didn't know when I would encounter another similar group in the streets, and their delight at my joining in, unquestionably and without being asked, was paramount. What a happy way to celebrate the Lord's day! A once in a lifetime experience that will always be treasured. The unexpected gleeful corporate worship that one occasionally encounters is almost more precious than several planned hymns.

A beautiful time of celebration, and a wonderful finale to my prayer journey this lent. I didn't manage to use all the different methods available to me for prayer, and have several ideas for next year's further exploration. Many of my ideas were in some ways very similar and uniform, being based on my preferred methods of prayer, that of using my hands creatively in worship time, and revelling in the fabulous natural world that God has created incorporating water and high places. 

I look forward to adapting each of these methods more in the coming year and having the freedom to return to several of my more preferred methods of prayer, without the need to challenge myself to pray in a different way each day. I am also excited about experimenting with spiritual practices by researching more methods in preparation for next year's lentern progress, as well as creating more encounters with the word in my devotional time. Particularly in my next journey of discovery, an attempt to reproduce my lentern adventure with 40 days of different ways of studying the scripture, from (Orthodox) Easter to Pentecost.

I would never have guessed that there were so many different ways to pray before I began this quest, and yet, I am very much aware that I have barely scraped the surface with my antics this year. In the words of my priest, "whenever I introduce prayer at the Confirmation group, I give them a list of 101 ways to pray, as I realise that each person is different and what appeals to one may not be so attractive to another. There are, of course, as many ways to pray as there are people, if not many more".

Day 46 = Silence at the tomb

Holy Saturday has always to me been a day of quiet reservation from many activities and happenings, spiritual or otherwise. As a child with tent-making parents, the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday was one where we entertained ourselves, mainly in or around the house, with few friends over and no expectation for a fantastic dinner or much family-bonding opportunity. It was the one day in the week when there wasn't any church services, special prayer times or visiting pastors. 

I remember as a youngster asking my Dad, 'so what happens on Easter Saturday?' (in the context of church, faith development or Christian practices), to which he replied 'nothing', and for years, this was a true and accurate statement of our diary. It's somewhat different now that I go to a more Catholic church, where there are lots more services and study groups on Holy Saturday, but for a reserved, charismatic girl like myself, the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday will always be one where the lentern vows are relaxed and nothing much crops up to take their place.

So like several years that have gone before, Holy Saturday is one of absence of spirituality, a time of silent reflection, a stillness at the tomb. I didn't try any new ways to pray today, instead, spending my time taking in the sights and sounds around me and enjoying my holiday in a land where English language church services were practically non-existent.

Day 45 = "Take off your shoes"

And He said, "Draw not near here: put off your shoes from your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground" - Exodus 3:5 (KJV).

This scripture has quite a lot of personal significance for me. As a teenager, I experienced the usual angst, fears and turmoil that most western kids go through in their growing up years, with the normal amount of feeling isolated and misunderstood, with the same challenges and confusions to get through en-route to becoming a fully-fledged adult. But each time, I encountered a situation which I felt too great to conquer, too big to overcome, too difficult to pass through unscathed, God would reach into my life and heart, and shake my emotions just that little bit to show me that actually nothing was too great for Him to help me through. And each time He did so, it was accompanied by this scripture and a desire to remove my shoes.

So, much to my comrades' glee and my authorities' wonderment, I wore flip-flops to exams for easy removal, flip-flops to the doctor's which I slipped off when asked to sit in that chair, flip-flops to friends' and family members' funerals, flip-flops to presentations, and even to church on occasion and my own wedding. If anyone was puzzled over why I wear flip-flops so often, in the winter, cold and on rough terrain, here's the answer. I still continue to wear flip-flops today, when I'm ill or visiting those close to death, unduly stressed or ecstatically delighted over an upcoming opportunity or special occasion. (I also wear them for non-spiritual comfort throughout the summer).

I don't feel that designated places of worship are the only areas which are holy ground; planes, trains, buses, schools, hospitals, exam halls and parks, to name but a few, can also take on that sacred quality. And each time I don a pair of flip-flops for easy removal and an unspoken, divine understanding, I remember God, feel closer to Him and have a greater motivation and reminder to pray more frequently and in a more profound way. I feel the prayer and holiness coursing through my veins, reaching all of my extremities and deep into my heart.

I had a lot of these experiences this week, what with my myriad illnesses and all-consuming moments of awe from riding several cable cars. There's nothing quite like the perspective of height to make me feel closer to God, not in the sense of being higher into the heavens, but brought about by the ability to see and take in a vast array of sights that God has created for our pleasure. So my method of prayer today was instructed shoe removal for the dual purposes of feeling more supported by God and getting the chance to become more affined with holy ground.

Day 44 = Strolling in a Temple

Having been raised in a country where Taoism is widely practised, I'm familiar with temples and feel at home taking a walk round different ones, watching people offering their prayers and after-life possessions, experiencing the eclectic mix of the sweet smell of incense, the stillness of Daoist worship and the vivacity of swarms of pray-ers entering the temple and adopting their chosen positions. There's nothing quite like a modern Taoist temple to stir feelings of nostalgia and home comforts.

More than the actual temples, however, is the appeal of the quiet gardens where those on the fringe of worship gather to collect their thoughts, seek space from a hectic lifestyle, and bond with family members from different generations. I've often spent time chilling out in the gardens around the temples, smelling the flowers that grow there, watching the fish swim and catching the odd musical beat of temple drums. Whenever I have time, and opportunity, I withdraw to one of these temples and have my own quiet time, with God.

Whilst on holiday, I discovered my favourite temple that I've ventured into, so far in my life. Bao'an Temple is that place. What with the refreshing breeze trickling through the gates and walls of the temple courtyard, the subdued sounds from the surrounding city bustle, the darkness where star-gazing is possible, the sparkle from the mosaics on the walls, the gentle patter of its man-made waterfall, the escape from others sitting at the top of the waterfall, and the rhythmic drone of passing aeroplanes coming in to land at the nearby airport, there is something quite special and ethereal about this place of worship, that surprisingly, doesn't extend to the attached temple building, but exudes and resides in the courtyard.

I spent a long time slowly wandering around the quad, seeing the ever-changing light-shifting of the koi, studying the differences in the results of artistic prayer, and becoming more at peace with myself and the world that God has created by savouring the smooth flow of water on the top of the rocks at the artificial falls. I had a good time of stillness and peace, listening to God and what He had to say to me at this time. I also used the screech of the landing gear kicking into place of each passing plane as intercessions for those around the world and who I no longer walk quite so closely with from my past.

Having grown up very close to one of the world's busiest airports, there's nothing quite as exciting, measured and comforting as a plane coming in to land. So, although others may see this action as an interruption and disturbance in a time of solitude and hush, it actually greatly enhanced my prayers, and the combination of airport proximity and water flow made this temple experience extremely precious. A place I could return to again and again if it weren't quite so far from my house.

Day 43 = Praying for healing

I was quite ill whilst I was away what with one thing and another, necessitating in a hospital visit (more on that later this week), a doctor's appointment and several pharmaceutical consultations. I felt tired, run-down and in pain for about three-quarters of my holiday, and didn't feel too great about it, as I was really looking forward to my adventurous travels. So as the drugs don't always work and not all the medical personnel know what they're talking about (I was advised to use After Sun on a number of occasions for a severe allergic reaction...), I turned to prayer and used my past experience and training to employ a different number of prayers for healing.

These included anointing, laying on of hands, getting others to pray for me, soaking in the spirit, using set prayers, praying in tongues and surrendering myself to God. I think the only method that 'worked' regarding healing was to relax and know that our Abba Father who created the universe and knows us all intimately is our all-mighty loving God who can heal if it's the right thing to do, and who never leaves us, giving us the strength to endure and overcome when we are at our weakest and lowest ebb. 

I wouldn't recommend going crazy with prayers for healing (as I did) - not everybody gets healed instantaneously. In fact, very few do. And in many cases, the lessons learnt and emotions experienced through knowing that we are mere mortals is greater than any quick fix brought about by miraculous healing. It's difficult to accept that not everyone gets healed, and that when people do recover, the process is largely aided by medical knowledge and drugs, and tends to be very slow and laborious. 

I was fortunate in that my illnesses were not much out of the way of ordinary things encountered in the course of a life. None of them lasted more than a month. None were terminal or severely, adversely affected me. I could overcome them (though I am still unwell at this point), and for the majority, could take pain-killers and get on with enjoying my holiday, leaving the process of recovery and check-ups to when I got back home and was within good access to a range of doctors, dentists and English-speaking chemists.

I missed the opportunities to be as adventurous on my holidays as others who took a similar journey were, spending my days sleeping, wandering around the old towns and swimming in pools, eating western food in expensive restaurants, but I revelled in the experiences of discovering more about my body, and learning more about faith and healing.

Friends of mine have been very ill in the past, and some have passed on at a young age. I don't know how they coped with the realisation that they weren't ever going to get well, and yet, in this knowledge, keeping hold of the understanding that God is no less powerful, miraculous or concerned about their lives. I have no definitive explanations to add regarding God's power, healing or the place of illness and pain in a committed Christian life, but I know that in the future, I will be quicker to relax, trust God and follow Him in every aspect of my life.

I will rest more, sleep more when the pain becomes too great to cope with, and save more of my energy to enjoying the 'here and now' rather than taking up many hours with research into various medical problems, treatments and methods of prayer for healing.

Day 42 = Praying over the world (literally)

Being the creative sort that I am, I found that one of my favourite methods of prayer so far that I've tried is to pray over the world. This is slightly different to the prayer over the world I used earlier in lent, when I held a globe in my hands, and prayed for countries that were impressed upon me at the time, as I'd heard stories in the news and personally, which I felt really needed prayer. This time, I used my geographical location to direct which places I would pray for. 

As I travelled from London to China, via the United Arab Emirates, and was quite literally shaken by my journey of 14 hours (excluding the stop-over) due to heavy thunderstorms covering the whole flight path (apart from when we were over Iraq), I prayed for the countries below me as well as those featured on my flight, e.g. the nationality of the airline we were flying and the passport countries of those sitting adjacent to me on the long hauls.

As I was sleepy from the night flights we were taking, my time of prayer was not a concentrated 30 minutes but over an hour's worth of compiled shorter time intervals as I was grabbing my seat on the white-knuckle parts of the ride and enjoying the fantastic spread of fires, mountains and sea below. My time of prayer included thanksgiving for the wonderful world which God has created, and the diversity of unique scenic places that together form a fantastic patchwork of sights, cultures and memories. 

I felt that, as always - on extremely bumpy flights, my faith was deepened as I considered my mortality, and I became more excited about the days and years ahead, in our adventure on earth. Whatever the future would bring us, we can know the intimacy of the God who loves us and lovingly formed us, therefore intimately knowing all our weaknesses. We can trust God to direct our paths into whatever countries and situations we feel called to venture into. And we can hope for the knees-up in Heaven when all peoples from every tribe, tongue and nation gather in one place in a massive celebration.

I found my prayer time tougher to guard and revel in as I was tired and felt ill at times; it's not as easy as when I have a large amount of spare time in which to plan and reflect upon my prayer time. I've always found the challenge to pray in the midst of bustle and busyness quite difficult to achieve, but equally, the ability to pray at all times and in, almost, all places, has never been too distant. I may not feel that a particular prayer time has been as useful and memorable as another, but I find it very hard to neglect prayer completely.

Day 41 = Praying through customs

Sometime, I will have a period of praying using different ideas and patterns from a range of denominational and faith backgrounds taken from across the world, and perhaps also, from across the years. I didn't have much opportunity, largely due to lack of cognitive creativity and time for consideration this lent, to research many patterns of prayer, incorporating only 'ghusl' and 'niizhwaaswi gagiikwewin' into my meditation times this month. 

I would love to have dipped into a much wider pool of traditions. Perhaps my aim for next year will be to explore more cultures and customs. For those looking for ethnographic inspiration today, perhaps try another website. My focus of prayer this Monday of Holy Week used an alternative definition of customs, namely, those gates encountered each time one enters a country.

As I was in the United Arab Emirates for a day trip today, I spent rather a lot of time trying to enter the country as there is a sense of calmness that exudes many areas across Abu Dhabi and neighbouring Gulf states, which extends to a complete stop on the need to rush anywhere or act quickly. Instead of becoming impatient and frustrated, I used the opportunity to pray reflectively on the scenes that were unfolding around me, both visually and in my memories. I again handed over my trip to God, asking that He direct my steps and lead me to where I need to go. 

I used images from the TV's unfolding report of violence in Syria and other countries to lift up to God the fears we have and the concern expressed, that we are often powerless to do anything about. I invited God deeper into my life and asked that He be encountered by all those who were crossing into the country ahead of me, taking time to remember also people across the world who were at that time, going through customs, in their localities with a vast number of concerns and a diversity of situations. 

Those who were relocating to different countries for job prospects, peace, safety, health, and to follow where they feel they were being called, for carrying the gospel into new lands, in the form of books, tent-making, the need to listen and understand, and humanitarian projects. I personally will never see or know all the situations that people find themselves in, but that doesn't stop me from lifting them to God and asking for His peace and protection over them all.

Unsurprisingly, I felt that my 90 minute wait to enter Abu Dhabi passed much more quickly after I started praying, and helped me to start my day off right. I had a wonderful day, meeting new people, experiencing little signs and wonders, and seeing more of this wonderful world that God has created, and in which we are privileged to live, and felt that my prayer time today was valuable and a unique step in my progress this lent.

Day 40 = Facing a 'thorn'

From the title, it may seem that I used flora again in my prayers today. The reality is somewhat different, in that I used the process of packing to stimulate and direct my prayers today. The thorn in this case, is a figurative thorn in my flesh, or an action that I find difficult and one which I incorporated into my prayers to both give me an extra boost in my meditation, and start to alter an act which I have some negative feeling towards, due to its close affinity with going to boarding school at a young age. (More on that another time!) So as I am off on holiday to Northeast Asia tomorrow for a month, and have rather a lot to pack, sort out and consider, I multi-tasked by using my obligatory evening's activity for contemplation.

It wasn't quite a case of thinking of God and dedicating my future steps in the interim future to Him, as I put things in my bag. It also involved listening to God regarding some of the upcoming events, asking for direction in what to pack, releasing my nervousness and anxiety over the holiday to Him, and making a more conscious break with previous negative experiences, realising that every action is a fresh start and isn't necessarily linked to a past event, nor that feelings have to maintain their grip on the blank slate of life that we are continuously writing on and adding to.

At the end of my packing and prayer, I still felt anxious and concerned about the upcoming month, not being able to shake a feeling that it would be very difficult and that I would really feel close to God in that time as I became increasingly aware of our dependency on Him, and the strength which exudes in our moments of greatest weakness and pain. I was particularly nervous over my return to a Chinese country since it wasn't that long ago that I lost a good friend over there, suddenly and unexpectedly. There would be many moments of facing unresolved grief and feelings of helplessness in the coming weeks, I was sure.

I think one of the main lessons I've learnt over the month of prayer so far is that we can use anything to bring us closer to God, and that different methods of prayer may very well be tied up in different mediums and materials available to us at any one time. It's not necessary to use a completely different pattern, introduced by various denominational and faith backgrounds, to feel that we're adventuring into a new way of praying and exploring a range of emotional and spiritual aspects of discussion with God. 

Can I think of 40 ways to pray? Yes, and more, if I use the widest definition of 'ways to pray' in the sense of incorporating different elements, actions and surroundings, rather than just limiting myself to publishedly distinct ways of praying as taught by some of the more conservative denominational groups I've been involved with. So many in fact, that I could probably use the same idea for lent the rest of my life, and continue to come up with new ideas, if given sufficient cognitive space.

Day 39 = Celebrating a choral passion

I had set myself the challenge of practising lectio divina with my ukulele tonight (where a particular phrase or subset of phrases from the Bible is mulled over and contemplated in depth), but decided to leave that for tomorrow, and instead maximise on the opportunities presented to me as were naturally occurring on this day, so as I was part of a scratch choir, used our final performance as prayer.

Let me explain. I like singing and I benefit from using my voice as a form of worship to God. Recently, at my church, several members of the congregation dedicated a month to putting on a concert as part of an outreach and evangelism event, and to fundraise for our much needed roof renovations. I couldn't set aside the time as practices fell on Sundays (my time of rest), Fridays (Brownies and Guides) and Tuesdays (meeting night for the various organisations of which I'm part), so supported my friends who were participating and gave my funds to the project.

Feeling slightly disappointed as I was missing out on the action, I was delighted to be invited to form a scratch choir today to put on an oratorio from not knowing any of the music at the start of the day to giving a performance at the end, 7 hours later. We spent much of the day practising and chatting about our involvement with choirs, and churches, to each other over much-needed break times. I was surprised by how easy it was to learn the music when surrounded by seasoned, very experienced singers, and a few professionals strategically placed in each part. I was also delighted to find, that despite rumours and comments I've received in the past, I actually am a decent tenor.

But enough background; onto the prayer. The performed oratorio (John Stainer's 'Crucifixion') lasted approximately an hour, and in that time, since I had learnt all the words and music, I enjoyed the concert and used it as an opportunity to reflect on the content and lyrics, a powerful rendition of the last 24 hours of Jesus' life (pre-death) and songs of thankfulness and witness of the awesome love shown through this difficult act.

I felt at times that I was really there, part of the crowd, shouting 'crucify Him', a friend who was saddened by the event, a grateful Christian in today's world, and one with some insight into the hard decisions and grievance experienced by Jesus at this time. I felt supported by those around, and aware of the tide of emotions that were present in the church where we performed. I was stressed and elated, woeful and excited. I was beholden and overwhelmed, indebted and relieved.

I learnt again the joys of singing and recaptured the enthusiasm of being part of a goo choir. I witnessed how choral music can be uplifting to the soul and stirring to the core. I was encouraged to keep singing as part of my regular prayer and worship, and inspired to participate in more choral pieces, particularly of a Christian nature with passionate and accommodating choir-mates. I was struck by the difference in feelings expressed and created between singing solo to a CD and being part of a large, semi-professional choir, and I was seized by the similarities.

Choral music itself has never really interested me, and I haven't enjoyed listening to it so much, but having had this experience of being part of a choir, and using the outcome as a source of prayer, I feel somewhat different to the genre, and may introduce more elements of singing and oratorios to my prayer life.

Day 38 = Praying with chocolate

Thinking of my readers yesterday, I decided to challenge myself to pray with chocolate today, and not just with a supply of it available, but specifically meditating on chocolate, all it has to represent and as a focus of reflection. Surprisingly, there is very little help or ideas around for using chocolate as a form of prayer, considering how popular both cocoa and prayer are globally. 

Eventually though I managed to find a little blog where somebody had set themselves the challenge of eating something mindfully, awake and aware in the present moment, and blogging about it, and they'd chosen chocolate. At last! Finally! I was again taken aback when I realised that this blog was a year old, and nobody else had taken the challenge on, or made it more widespread. Surely this is a wave that could easily crest the world?

The idea is to make the whole process of selecting and consuming a piece of chocolate a mindful exercise - only the one, as after that it becomes less mindful and more fattening, starting with finding the right chocolate in the kitchen and ending with licking your lips and remembering the sweet, heady taste. So I used their blog and embellished it, adding extra cognitive activities and points for musing. I have after all challenged myself to pray for at least 30 minutes everyday using a new method.

Start with a short, simple meditation on what mindfulness is and what it can encompass. From there, turn everything off (the phone, internet, washing machine, bath...), sit down and relax. Admire the chocolate, smell it, feel it, see it for what it is, and remember all the countless people who have touched the same chocolate before, in the process of growing, packaging and presenting the chocolate. And thank God for them all. Maybe also reflect on fair-trade and the working conditions of all these people. Think about how we can make the world a fairer, safer place.

Then focus on the chocolate. Smell it, see the ingredients, picture the chocolate in its many stages, say thanks and relax into the mindfulness of chocolate adoration. Reflect on how we are like chocolate (all individual, sweet, with different elements and hidden parts). Slowly, ever so slowly, go from seeing the chocolate in the box to lip-licking when it's finished. Smell it, feel it with your hands, then on your face, then your lips, lick the outside, feel the texture when it cracks on your teeth as you bite it, scoop out the inside with your tongue (if it's got a filling), chew on it, chase it round your mouth...

When you get towards the end, spin it out, make it last, continue to reflect on its simple beauty and divine elements, and think about what chocolate can teach us about the world and ourselves. Be aware of the feelings when it's finished, the empty space it's left and how it's changed in form and has changed the consumer forever. You will always be able to remember this chocolate if you have the desire. And this simple act of eating a piece of chocolate can change you, make you more aware of the world around, and the sweetness of slow food. 

Thank God for the experience and focus on how mindfulness can be an entry point to exploring heaven in a richer context and to a greater degree. It's not just a piece of chocolate; it's a form of prayer. And a form of prayer that can be gentle on the soul, satisfying on the lips (and hips), and transformative from the here and now stress of daily life to the eternal rest of seeing God in our everydays. It also helps to look up once in a while and remember what life is like for many others around the world, a kind of challenge to do what we can with our resources to see God's kingdom come.

Day 37 = Walking with the Lord

Not to be confused with living with the Lord, today I spent my prayer time reflecting on the physical world around me, escaping the humdrum of a materialistic, inanimate world, and letting my prayers feed on the activities unfolding around me whilst taking a gentle walk around a lake and through a forest - an idyllic place indeed!

For once, I didn't worry about getting soaked in wet mud, I didn't get scared of the geese (until I realised that one particular was not going to let me past on the path, despite my numerous attempts...), I didn't plan my prayers in words in advance, I turned my phone off, I let the spirit guide me, I incorporated everything that I could sense around me and I relaxed into prayer.

My shoes were soaked. My socks were wet for the rest of the day. My feet got really wrinkly. I was late for my next appointment (not so that anyone else would notice). I got dried mud encrusted on my jeans. I enjoyed my walk. I felt at one with the created world that God has made. I appreciated my prayer time. I felt energised and refreshed. I felt stilled and at peace. I incorporated different elements into my prayer: intercession, thanks, apology, silence.

I'd recommend it for anyone. There are many lakes, rivers, streams, copses around, probably one very near you. So take a hike, get dirty and truly observe what God's created and what he's doing in you. It's worth putting the calendar on hold for a little while, and it's one of the most relaxed prayer times I've had recently.

Day 36 = Niizhwaaswi gagiikwewin

Not for everyone this one, and some may question the wisdom of praying whole-heartedly according to another religion, but I think there is something that can be learnt from looking in depth at every faith, seeing the similarities with our own, and deciding which bits to accept and use to enhance our own faith journey, and which to reject as being unhelpful for drawing us closer to God.

Over the last four weeks, I've been studying on the the 'Aboriginal Worldviews and Education' course at the Ontario Institute for Studies of Education at the University of Toronto, and have learnt a lot about aboriginal peoples around the world, and specifically in Canada - their mental, spiritual, emotional and physical journeys, focussing predominantly on the interplay between different First Nations groups and education undertaken (some forcibly). 

Over the last three days, I've lived, breathed, dreamt and eaten 'aboriginal' as I've been desperately trying to  finish the course before the final deadline (tomorrow). I've almost finished. I was struck by various issues and have learnt a lot. (Do feel free to chat to me more about any questions you may have! I can't promise to know the answers, but I may be able to point you in the right direction.)

Tonight, as my brain was so taken over by all things aboriginal, I decided to further my thinking and enhance the homework reading experience by using the text in prayer. (It was an introduction to aboriginal prayer anyway, so I didn't have to be too independently creative tonight). So I found the two texts I was to read (a setting to the prayer and the content of the prayer) and proceeded to set up my prayer situation. 

I want to point out that this is not a widely recognised form of aboriginal prayer - as formal prayer takes different forms; is individualistic to a particular person, tribe and place; and is often much more carefully set up and organised, using trained medicine chiefs. Do research this further (using websites and sources constructed by trained, authentic aboriginal Canadians) if you want to know more; it can be dangerous to miss the careful groundwork required for entering a time of prayer in the aboriginal style.

First I had to collect seven objects that represented seven directions of the medicine wheel (a mental summary of the spiritual and emotional worlds all beings find themselves in throughout their lifetime). These are east (land of the rising sun and all things grown), south (place of passion, fire and creation), west (land of the setting sun and water), north (place of deep quiet and stillness), mother earth (source of our sustenance), sky (angelic realms and countless stars) and soul (our innermost beings).

I used the following objects (in the same order): bread (some medicine wheels refer to the east as bread), thyroxine (gives me energy and fire), a bottle of water (no surprise really), my aboriginal carving (deep stillness of my honeymoon in Malaysia), the bible (source of my spiritual life in some ways), a balloon (to represent all those gone [up] before) and my phone (represents all my relationships). I also had a holding cross to make it more Christian and remind me that in all things is God.

Finding the objects is part of the prayer, so is calling on the spirit of God to accompany you through the journey (using a rhythmic drumbeat). Then you meditate on each of the places, reflecting on how your soul feels, using quotes from great chiefs, variations of the rhythmic drumbeat and exploring the meaning of each of the sectors using guidance (which I was provided in the form of my homework text). Some of the words, phrases and impressed thoughts can be very animalistic, but I also found that it could be very easily altered to focus on God, whoever your god is.

I found the experience extremely profound and was touched to my core. I also felt a great life force coursing through me and helping me to connect with God in a deeper way than I usually do. An activity that needs a lot of unpacking, reflection and spiritual interaction. Something I want to return to, but not to overuse, and for which I need to devote adequate time. I feel more bonded with my course-mates, the content of the course, and discovered that I don't need to pray in an outright Christian way to find myself getting closer to God. 

Not to be too quick to judge, but to see what each religion and faith journey can share, being careful to follow God, but also give myself the cognitive space to explore my faith and break through some of the pre-defined boundaries imported from aspects of religion that have less to do with Christianity, and more to do with unchanged stereotypes. But I also think it's very important to work within the confines of what's comfortable to you, not to unnecessarily follow another's example and to always feel safe in who you are and what you do.

For those who are interested, here are the links to my homework texts (for setting up a version of aboriginal prayer): http://www.whisperingtree.net/articles-and-media/how-to/148-calling-the-directions and http://www.davidbouchard.com/mtw/sst.pdf. 

Day 35 = Writing a psalm

An often-quoted method for prayer, and an activity central to almost every retreat I've been on, psalm-writing can come in all different shapes and sizes. 

I find that a typical way of writing a psalm is to focus on an already written psalm from the scriptures (or song of praise from another part of the Bible), be still, think about what words are central to one at any time, and have the freedom to explore creatively and either linguistically or visually the cognitive setting of such words and the emotional scenario in which one enters the prayer.

So I found myself on my drive home, singing along to one of the songs on my worship CD which featured a psalm from the Bible as retold by this particular artist. The words of the artist, and original biblical writer, didn't quite cut it for me today as I was feeling tired and stressed, and needed more freedom to express my words, so, using the backing music, I sung out my words, thoughts and desires to God as most prevalent to me today.

A lot of it was focussed on the despair I was feeling based on the attitudes, expressions and actions of those I've found myself surrounded by recently, and in particular, the darkness embodied in the maltreatment of aboriginal Canadians which I was studying yesterday, and the insane decisions taken by a number of drivers on the roads this evening in their rush to get home (before what?).

I started singing my thoughts and concerns without planning the form, structure and content of my 'psalm', but found myself repeating certain phrases, linguistic moods and underlying emotions. Halfway through my prayer-time, I reached my home, went inside and continued my psalm. In the comfort and security of my house, I found myself becoming more at one with the prayer and free to use my tone, volume and pitch of voice to match the words I used.

I varied my melody by using different songs and creating new music, and I encapsulated all of my feelings, both the highs and the lows. I didn't feel uplifted at the end of the session, but I felt strengthened, empowered and tasked with being Jesus' hands and feet in the situations I find myself in, choosing to act where necessary, rather than just burying my head in the sand, however hard that might be for me - always focussing on others wherever possible.

Whether my song of need and hope could accurately be described as a psalm, I have my doubts, but the method used is often quoted and practised by others when 'doing their spirituality' and has a strangely edifying effect. Perhaps I may return to this method again in the not too distant future.

Day 34 = Praying The Lord's Way

An idea that's been around for a while today - to pray as Jesus taught us, using his words (as translated into my NIV Bible and Anglican upbringing) interspersed with my own thoughts, contemplations and musings as appropriate to a particular line. It's one of the first hits that seems to crop up on several websites, and in several prayer study guides very near the front of the book, or the top hit.

Today I didn't have much time for a consolidated session of prayer (except when I was stuck in Reading's longest traffic jam this morning), so started praying a line at a time and picked up where I'd left off a few hours previously, throughout the course of the day. I felt as though Jesus was right there beside me in all my panics, rushes, boredoms and imaginings as whenever I had chance I would meditate on what his prayer means for me today.

I've done this activity before, several years ago, when I was doing the Youth Alpha course (incidentally, that was for fun and mission study as I was already a long way along the road when that particular course came to my part of the woods), and it has since altered the words I choose to use whenever I say the Lord's prayer - in public or private. But I felt it was time to re-engage with the prayer, and reflect anew on what it means for me today.

I found myself spending a lot of time thinking about God as a father, and a few phrases in particular grabbed my attention (and continued to do so throughout the day). I guess that has a lot more to do with me, where I am at the moment, and what secrets my heart is harbouring in this stage of my life, than with anything else. I found it a helpful exercise, and mused that it may be a useful head and heart activity to repeat this with different prayers and favourite scriptures of mine in the days and months ahead.

For those who want to try this yourself, I'd suggest taking time out to be yourself, talk aloud, use images and icons if they help you to explore your spirituality in a more mentally free way, and don't be afraid to keep stopping, and coming back to, different parts of the prayer. Reflect on what each line means for you, and consider difference in original language, translated language, setting and context.

What would you say if you were writing the prayer yourself? What are your needs, hopes, desires, dreams, thanks, apologies, requests connected to each part of the prayer? Don't be afraid to skip lines, or to return to earlier lines, to repeat a specific chunk, or to break it up into individual words, or longer sections. Consider the setting then, and the setting now. What similarities and differences are there? What's your heart telling you now, on this day, in this place?

You might just find yourself surprised.

Day 33 = Seeing the rain as a blessing

I hate being out in rain unless: a) it's warm, b) I'm wearing something that is appropriate to get wet (namely a swimming costume), and c) there's no chance of me being hit by lightning. Usually, it's only really in Singapore that all three criteria can be met. Otherwise, I hate rain, and there are few things quite as disgusting (I think) of the feel of cold, wet sticky jeans clinging to your skin, which is the reason you'll very rarely see me on my bike on anything less than a clear, blue, sunny day.

I was intrigued however last week to learn that in many African cultures, rain is seen as a blessing, that, quite literally, God is pouring down his blessing on his children in the very real tangible form of heavy rain. (Google: "rain", "Africa", "blessing", "-Toto" and you'll see what I mean...). Many believe this to be true all the time. Even in England. Even in a country where it rains all the time and where that rain is cold and painful.

I will however struggle to ever find truth in that adage if I continue to live where I do. So you can imagine my annoyance and grievance when I had to marshall the Reading Half Marathon in the rain today. The icy cold - mixed with sharp hail - rain. The rain which gave me two chilblains and rather a lot of frostnip. The rain which I had to celebrate in order to inspire and cheer runners who were looking extremely dreary. The rain which destroyed my shoes, and meant that not just sopping wet, cold jeans were clinging to my body. That rain.

So what was I to do, to continue to happily endure this rain, and to spread my joy and enthusiasm with the thousands of runners who I individually cheered on, whilst my fellow volunteers were sheltering under large umbrellas and in the local pub? I know, turn my rain into a blessing by counting my blessings, and thanking God for each and every one of them. Including the rain. Especially the rain.

So I spent at least an hour in prayer today (aside from the time I was cheering runners on), thanking God for my blessings throughout my lifetime, naming them one by one, until I could smile. And spread that smile a mile. Or 13.

I didn't feel stupendous afterwards, and I was still rather grumpy when I got home, until I could get into a nice warm bath and snuggle up in my blanket. But I could genuinely smile.

And sitting here in my nice warm study, hearing the rain pounding and crashing outside (it sounds like a very cold heavy rain of tropical storm proportions out there), I am continuing to smile. And thank God. Least of all that I'm not out in the rain now. Amongst other things.

Day 32 = A lap a prayer

I was googling ways to pray the other day, and came across a blog an American lady had written who said that she loved swimming, so went every morning to her local swimming baths, and when she was there, she used each lap to pray for one of her children - three laps for each, focussing each time on present needs, thanksgiving or concerns for the future.

Well, I wasn't exactly going to swim multiple lengths for people (I'm not a very strong swimmer and I tend to get ridiculously short of breath easily with my congenital lung condition), but since I was going to spend the day celebrating my anniversary at the local spa with my husband, I would pray for all the members of my immediate (and slightly extended) family as I swam laps. So if you think that in some measure, I might consider you as family, then you can probably be confident that I prayed for you!

The first thing I noticed was that my swimming was much more powerful, quicker and easier. I found I didn't have to stop at the end of each lap (as I usually do - to catch breath) and I was outpacing Lee rather considerably (a never before event)! I found that I really enjoyed the swimming, mainly because I really enjoyed prayer, and I was extremely eager to start subsequent laps, as on previous laps, I had thought of another 'family' member who I wanted to pray for!

I also noticed though that at the end of my swimming 'marathon', I was rather woozy and my arms were really aching (though my heart was rather light). A good way to increase my desire for strenuous non-impact exercise!

I incorporated my surroundings into each prayer as well, if, I had to wait a while for another swimmer, that particular person (whose lap I was praying for) got a bit of extra prayer. If a kid started splashing me and wanted to have a bit of fun, I reciprocated and asked for joy and excitement in the prayer. If the sun beat my eyes, I prayed for protection in the prayer. Etc.

I don't particularly like swimming all that much as I find it extremely wearing, but I enjoyed this time, and really noticed the improvements in my physical body afterwards. I think I'll use prayer in this way each time I go swimming, but will also make time afterwards to enjoy splashing in the water, and focussing on me as well.

Day 31 = Praying on Rota

The CU at the University of Reading (where I work) were doing a 12 hour prayer challenge on Friday. Not quite what I was used to, from my uni days, where together with Christians from many backgrounds, ages and traditions, we ran a number of 24-7 prayer sessions, but a brave endeavour, considering how far fewer CU goers there are at Reading than at Durham.

They were short a few people for some of the afternoon slots, so I volunteered to do the 5pm half hour, especially considering that I needed another form of prayer for my 40 days, 40 ways challenge. I was at work at the time, so I sent some arrow prayers up during the time I was supposed to be praying, and postponed my in-depth God chat until I had more mental attention and capacity.

I was tasked with praying for the Reading Uni CU, the students who were participating in the 12 hour challenge with me, and for Asia, and was surprised by how easy and quick the prayer time itself was, as soon as I'd started! It didn't seem like more than 5 minutes max until the clock read half an hour later.

I started with a short opening prayer, asking for wisdom, insight and ability to usefully spend the 30 minutes, and closed with a prayer of thanks. For the vast majority of the time, I named a country in Asia that I remembered (going alphabetically through them as much as possible) then named the situations I was aware of in those countries, people I was concerned about from those countries, and asked God for his blessing, strength and help, being as specific as I could.

I barely got through half of the countries, when I just named the remaining countries whilst recreating a visual image in my mind of my involvement with each country I was naming.

I believe the prayer was so quick and easy, as I was just praying for my homeland (in a way), and have a lot of passion, love, hope and concern for many lands in Asia. I would like to be able to dedicate the time at some point to pray in more depth for the remaining countries that I only had time to name. And I would also like to be able to give myself the freedom to pray for places that I love, not just places that are in the news at any particular time.