Day 40 = Facing a 'thorn'

From the title, it may seem that I used flora again in my prayers today. The reality is somewhat different, in that I used the process of packing to stimulate and direct my prayers today. The thorn in this case, is a figurative thorn in my flesh, or an action that I find difficult and one which I incorporated into my prayers to both give me an extra boost in my meditation, and start to alter an act which I have some negative feeling towards, due to its close affinity with going to boarding school at a young age. (More on that another time!) So as I am off on holiday to Northeast Asia tomorrow for a month, and have rather a lot to pack, sort out and consider, I multi-tasked by using my obligatory evening's activity for contemplation.

It wasn't quite a case of thinking of God and dedicating my future steps in the interim future to Him, as I put things in my bag. It also involved listening to God regarding some of the upcoming events, asking for direction in what to pack, releasing my nervousness and anxiety over the holiday to Him, and making a more conscious break with previous negative experiences, realising that every action is a fresh start and isn't necessarily linked to a past event, nor that feelings have to maintain their grip on the blank slate of life that we are continuously writing on and adding to.

At the end of my packing and prayer, I still felt anxious and concerned about the upcoming month, not being able to shake a feeling that it would be very difficult and that I would really feel close to God in that time as I became increasingly aware of our dependency on Him, and the strength which exudes in our moments of greatest weakness and pain. I was particularly nervous over my return to a Chinese country since it wasn't that long ago that I lost a good friend over there, suddenly and unexpectedly. There would be many moments of facing unresolved grief and feelings of helplessness in the coming weeks, I was sure.

I think one of the main lessons I've learnt over the month of prayer so far is that we can use anything to bring us closer to God, and that different methods of prayer may very well be tied up in different mediums and materials available to us at any one time. It's not necessary to use a completely different pattern, introduced by various denominational and faith backgrounds, to feel that we're adventuring into a new way of praying and exploring a range of emotional and spiritual aspects of discussion with God. 

Can I think of 40 ways to pray? Yes, and more, if I use the widest definition of 'ways to pray' in the sense of incorporating different elements, actions and surroundings, rather than just limiting myself to publishedly distinct ways of praying as taught by some of the more conservative denominational groups I've been involved with. So many in fact, that I could probably use the same idea for lent the rest of my life, and continue to come up with new ideas, if given sufficient cognitive space.