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I happen to get stuck in traffic rather a lot, since I'm busy with various voluntary activities day and night, five days a week across Reading, particularly at those peak times of day, e.g. after RE:Inspired, when I've been at the Chaplaincy and on my way when I'm in a hurry... Usually, when this happens, I have the potential to get cranky and to get annoyed at the other drivers.
Today, I realised that that would not be a good thing as I have a bad case of the cold (being asthmatic), and since while my car was parked this morning (and I was safely in my house), another driver smacked into the side of my car, and I wasn't sure how much more damage the other driver had caused, other than the obvious superficial stuff...
So I decided to use the time to drive slower than the speed limit, allow lots of space between me and the car in front, let other drivers pull out into my braking distance and slow down approaching traffic lights where there were people waiting (in case the light turned to red). I also used the time to focus on the spiritual lessons I've learnt this week, cloud gaze (it was a stunningly beautiful day), sing along to my praise CDs and dedicate the next day to God, whilst asking for healing from my cold.
I was continually struck by how beautiful the clouds were - especially with my sunglasses on, as they accented the cloud edge regions, the stark difference in colour between the tightly-contained cumulus (clouds) and the bright blue background. The sun was also amazingly bright, though the radiance didn't burn my eyes as my sunglasses are fairly decent.
I was tempted to go for a longer drive on the way home, and extend my time of meditation, but decided I couldn't justify the additional burning of fossil fuels, so instead, took my fascination to wander a while with images on the internet.
I'm glad I didn't race home, and instead turned what could have been a painful half hour of sitting in stationary and slow-moving traffic into a beautiful time of reflection, meditation and thankfulness to him for the awesome beauty of a spring day.
The more I experiment with ways to pray, looking at ideas and seeing which of these appeal to me most at any particular time, the more I'm aware that my favourite methods involve working with my hands, using different themes, scriptures and ideas, but all with an element of dexterous creativity.
Today's way was no different. Having spent an hour browsing different ways to pray, the one I selected was from my new book, under the chapter 'Praying with Touch' and featured plaiting for half an hour. I used three different coloured strands of wool - pink (symbolic of Jesus and his blood); blue (representing the spirit and the new life we can receive from him through the waters of baptism) and green (of God and his creativity in creating the world).
As I plaited each strand, I meditated on the characteristics and gifts of God as presented to us in the teachings of different persons of him. I also reflected on his calling to us to be more like him, and in what ways we need to embody all who he is and all he stands for. I also took the opportunity to pray for the power to become more like him in and throughout my life.
At the end, I created two similar plaits, and have decided to hang one in my car to remind myself of my prayer time today, and one I am wearing as a foot bangle so that in every step I take today, I may strive to use my talents and experience to be more like God.
A very Catholic prayer for this evening, one that I haven't yet dared pray due to my preceding attitudes towards Catholicism as inspired by an ex-boyfriend... but as I attend an AngloCatholic church, and as many of my friends use this prayer on a regular basis, I thought it was time that I tried it out.
For those who don't know, the rosary consists of a few prayers repeated several times. The prayers begin with an opening prayer (including the Apostle's Creed) then follow with five cycles of the Our Father and the Glory Be (the closing blessing used in many more evangelical churches), with five pairs of the Hail Mary and verses relating to different parts of the gospel story. The prayers close with a closing prayer. And in each cycle there are intentions and a Catholic prayer I've never heard before. People often use beads to keep track of the different prayers and verses, though this is an aid more than a requirement.
I was surprised by my changing feelings of the course of the prayer time, starting initially with feelings of rejection and nervousness as I don't particularly like the Hail Mary, due to its common reference to attributes that I don't believe Mary had in the way that many people express them. Towards the end of the prayer, I felt empowered, strengthened and aware of the gospel story in a whole new way.
There are four sequences of scriptures that are read over the course of a day, relating to different periods in Jesus' life; as I was doing it in the evening, I followed the traditional evening series of scriptures - the Crucifixion, and felt the impact of Jesus' sacrifice in a keen way. I would like to do it again at a different part of day, and see how my feelings change based on different moods and the different scriptures followed.
I think having heard the Hail Mary 50 times (in this one session), I am a lot more familiar with it, and will know what the people in my church are saying certain Sundays. Who knows? I may even use them myself on occasion. I am also aware of how helpful praying the rosary could be at particular times. Not something to avoid in the future, but to dip into every so often when I want to pray through scripture.
It may seem that I'm starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel here in terms of finding different ways to pray, but I guess that's cos I'm such a creative spirit, and at the moment, I'm feeling more than a little tired from too much going on in my life...
Today's method is sewing. As the author (Louise Erdrich) of the following passage I came across recently says:
"To sew is to pray. Men don’t understand this. They see the whole, but they don’t see the stitches. They don’t see the creator in the work of the needle. We mend. We women turn things inside out and set things right. We salvage what we can of human garments and piece the rest into blankets. Sometimes our stitches stutter and slow. Only a woman’s eye can tell. Other times, the tension in the stitches might be too tight because of tears, but only we know what emotion went into the making. Only women can hear the prayer.”
In other words, I picked up my camp blanket, a bunch of badges that needed attaching, my YouTube player and let the spirit lead me into what I needed to pray for, and in what manner I could find my soul refreshed. I wasn't too surprised to find that lots of the songs I chose to listen to whilst sewing were sombre (to match my mood...): Time to say goodbye/ You raise me up/ Requiem for a soldier/ Abide with me/ I cannot tell.
I ended up finishing my camp blanket catch-up, uplifted, with a broken thread spool, at peace, aware of an encroaching cold, still. The combination of the music, crafting and freedom to meditate seemed to pay off. Perhaps tomorrow I could pray by sleeping and more focussed reflection of something scriptural.
As today is Mothering Sunday, I decided to follow in the footsteps of my ancestors and return to my mother church in the UK (Singapore was a little far - and expensive - for a one day trip), the place where I got married, the seat of my mum - the deacon - in Cheltenham, St. Mark.
I also used the opportunity to go on a pilgrimage of sorts by adopting a prayerful attitude all day, listening to lots of praise and worship CDs (and engaging with a few of the songs), getting involved in the church life of St. Mark (by joining the tea & coffee team), having religious conversations with people and meditating on my life recently and the upcoming months.
I found the experience refreshing, invigorating and strangely calming, and feel uplifted, challenged and renewed (we shall see how long that feeling lasts in the busy week to come)! Not something to do too many times (as I can't afford the petrol or the time for frequent day trips), but an enjoyable experience nonetheless, and certainly one to keep regular. Maybe next time I could try walking - perhaps not the whole way though...!
An extremely controversial method for tonight, as I know many don't believe praying in tongues is real while others assume that it is a gift that all must have to show the spirit's presence in their lives. Some are angry when they hear people talking of praying in tongues (let alone hearing someone use it) whilst others get very excited. I have a complicated view myself, but I know that I find the gift immensely useful for when I can't think of the words to say and when I worry that deep prayer is required for a specific situation.
I used to use it all the time when I was younger, particularly when I was walking along some less than savourable streets in London alone when commuting, though tend to use it less often now, and have rarely used it when I know someone else is listening as I know how off-putting it can be. If anyone is reading my blog in the hope of finding some new methods for prayer, please forgive me for tonight's entry as I know that not all can, nor even should, use tongues as it is not for everyone.
I use it tonight as I could do with the cognitive space I feel praying in tongues gives me to converse with God. And generally, when I start praying in tongues, I'm translating my thoughts into a language I don't know so well, but one with which I can get carried away into a fascinating monologue to God. A bit like someone learning a new and exotic language that captivates them completely, I suppose.
So this is something I like to do when I go on a retreat (at Beuno's, Spring Harvest or somewhere with a well-stocked art room) and was the craft for REInspired yesterday (the theology in schools programme for Reading that I help with). So buoyed on by the success of the children yesterday and the 'abysmal' weather we're having today, I decided to get stuck into paper craft as soon as I woke up this morning. Or more precisely, a 3D image with different types of paper.
I decided to use a message very familiar to me (as I still haven't got used to this English weather despite having lived here for 15 years) and got my crepe paper, card and cotton wool out to recreate a cloudy day at London Docklands (notice the gherkin, Exchange Tower and London City airport), but starting with a bright and brilliant blue summer sky, then overlaid with a range of clouds. As I worked on each stage, I used the object that I was modelling to form my prayers, so starting by praying for the UK economy then thanking God for sunshine etc.
The scripture didn't actually come to the very end when I was looking for a Bible verse that would fit the picture (often the way I like to do prayer paper craft), but when I found this one, I thought how apt it was. For those who can't see, the message is: "we may not always see the sun, but it is always there" and the scripture is "behold! I AM with you always - even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20".
This was a really enjoyable use of prayer time and I now have something tangible to remind me of my prayer time and the message it contains whenever I pass it hanging on my wall. I like making things in prayer time; I guess it's because the sense of touch is so important to me.
